Friday, August 26, 2011

Feedback Friday - Teenage Rebellion

Children are born as individuals.  If we fail to see that, if we see them as clay to be molded in any shape we like, the tougher ones will fight back and end up spiteful and wild, while the less strong will lose that uniqueness they were born with.  -Melvin Konner

How do you feel about this quote?

Were you the tough child Dr Donner describes?  As a result, did you become wild?

Did you rebel as a teen?  Now that you are grown can you look back and determine the reason for your rebellious behaviors?  In other words, what were you looking for?

Were you the less strong kind of personality and do you feel like your uniqueness was lost?

Have you started to regain these qualities that were molded out of you?

If you are dealing with a rebellious teen, does this quote make you think a little differently about the child's actions or behaviors?

Have you read any of Melvin Konner's books, newspaper columns or essays?  If so, please share your opinions on them.

I look forward to hearing your responses!

Happy Friday!


Theresa Ip Froehlich said...


Thank you for sharing your thoughts about teenage individuation. I see Melvin Konner's point and I resonate with it, wishing I had seen and embraced this quote 20 years earlier. I am a mother blessed with two children who, at age 1 or 2, felt like they were 30-year-olds trapped in little bodies. Had I grasped the wisdom of this quote back then, I would have taken a totally different approach to parenting.

A therapist-friend told me that the child who rebels is healthier than the one who doesn't. I see the difference between myself and two of my sisters. As grown adult women, they still look to our mother for approval.

However, I must balance what I said with a little dose of community participation in child-rearing. We can't mold our children without regard for their individuality, but a parent's job is to guide and shape children.

This topic is close to my heart because of my parenting experience. I have written a book to show parents to let go of adult children and get on with life.

I hopped from Blogfrog to visit. :)

Coach Theresa

Savannah McQueen said...

Theresa, Thanks for your comments. This is close to my heart, too. My oldest children are 21 and 17 and I can see where I could have handled things differently. I also have two younger children ages 10 and 6 years old. So I get a 2nd chance! :) I really appreciate you taking the time to write. -Savannah

Betty Marie said...

Savannah, I am loving a book that I will be blogging about... and it says something similar in a different way. I am learning to look at each child as a person who needs support, encouragement... to be believed in. To extend grace and coach them through instead of being punitive... I like the quote above!!

Savannah McQueen said...

Great! I look forward to reading that post Betty Marie.

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